Alright so I can’t sleep. To try and remedy this I followed a bajillion blogs about books and food and contemplated venturing out to the fridge and eating it. Naturally. There’s something making noise by my bed. Oh my pants. What if it wants to eat me (I tried to write oh my lanta but autocorrect insisted I meant pants so pants it is.) You ever think about sleep? I mean really think about it? Don’t think too hard, you might hurt yourself. But it’s so frackin weird. We look forward to sleep so much, but when you fall asleep you wake up seemingly minutes later, still tired and groggy, and wanting to sleep some more. Sleep is a conspiracy. Am I right? No? Dang. Well a girl can dream. Ha. Dream. Sleep. Pun. And with that pitiful play on words, I make my exit. Adieu.