Lose Yourself

Is this what it feels like to lose it? To look at everyone around you and feel completely disconnected. To think about nothing but leaving and never coming back.

Selfishness.

To lose it is to give in to selfishness.
Everyone around you suffers because you want an ounce of sanity, to find a small piece of yourself and hug it tight.
There comes a point when you get tired of everything. You get tired of fakeness, tired of failure, tired of piousness, tired of ignoring all of the elephants in the room. Tired of selfishness.

Ironic, right?

So what’s the cure? How do you find sanity among the masses just trying to make it in life.

Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m really really not sure. I would love to figure it out though.
___________________________________

I wrote this a long while ago and never posted it. And I’m still not super sure how to find sanity. I haven’t felt like posting lately. I didn’t want to share my thoughts with the world. I just felt like sharing with a few. But right now I’m feeling divulgent. These past couple months have been confusing. So very confusing. Now they’re starting to make sense, but for awhile it felt like my world was falling apart. I’ve decided some things.

1. I’m too quick to count my chickens before they hatch. That’s the saying, right? Well I counted like 200 chickens and only like 50 hatched.

2. If you’re patient, more hatch. Better chickens. Stronger chickens that make better nuggets.

3. I’m impatient and it’s a large flaw.

4. Self motivation is so important. You cant rely on other people to make you move.

5. We are not what we do. We are not our mistakes. We are so much more.

Okay so yeah. I dunno. I’m sick right now. When I’m sick I always want popsicles. Always. My amazing sister bought some for me. Orange is my favorite flavor. And the popsicle sticks have some snazzy jokes on them. Like this one.

Who sleeps with his shoes on?
A horse.

Haaaaaa. Funnyyyyyy.

Oh guys and always be honest. It’s refreshing when all the bullcrap stops and the brutal honesty starts.

I’ve been reading more lately, and playing the uke more. I even wrote a crappy song. I’m trying to be a full person, not just half a person. I hate how hypocritical I am sometimes. Alot of times I don’t feel like loving or understanding. I’m just worried about myself. And I hate that.

I’m trying to improve. Me sharing my thoughts right now. That’s improving. Writing on here more often would also be improving.

How was your guys Christmas? There was no snow here. None. Not even a flake. Whatevs weather.

So I’ll definitely post more soon. Have a great holiday season everyone!

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