Where to begin.
When you’re young and just starting to get the hang of life, it’s full of promise. You haven’t failed any exams. No ones fired you. Your heart is still fresh and unbroken. You start out with a blank slate.
As life goes on you realize how hard it is to keep the slate clean.
And then you realize it’s impossible.
People deal with this reality in three ways.
One: They pretend it’s not a reality.
Two: They give up.
Three: They get real.
When I say real, I mean genuine. They keep lying to a minimum and care about others, maybe they grow a little garden with tomato plants.
Being real is the best option, but sooner or later people get hurt. Multiple times. You get broken down. And before you know it you feel like a genuine failure.
That’s where I’m at.
Woah. Sorry. Depressing stuff. Relax guys. Maybe have some pie. That all makes life sound really gloomy, right? Okay, it’s not all the time. There’s really good things about life.
The first snowfall
Just to name a few.
But, I mean, life sucks sometimes. Harder than a Dyson vacuum. And that can suck a lot of stuff.
I dunno. You ever just want to explain yourself to someone? Just explain your thoughts and complicated emotions and your views on everything and…. Just…. Everything? Then, maybe if someone knew all of your complicated inner workings they would understand you. They would assure that you’re not crazy, that you’re a decent person. You would assure them that you were painfully aware of all of your faults and that you were working on them. They would commend you for being so self aware. They wouldn’t judge you or criticize you because they knew that you already judge and criticize yourself enough. They would just listen and understand.
I think that’s all anyone wants. If just one person understood us completely, that would be enough.
And voila, love is born.
Lets not talk about love right now. We might get there.
What we should talk about is my generation.
It really bugs me when people complain so much about us. They say that we’re a generation with no motivation or goals.
Statistics show that we’re the most educated generation yet. Over 63% of us have a bachelors degree. We are very optimistic. We are very diverse and very tolerant. We don’t let gender rolls define us. Instead of money and power, we shoot for happiness. We embrace feelings and emotions and deep relationships.
We are motivated, just by different things.
We have goals. They just aren’t the same goals of the previous generations.
Every generation is different and has it’s set of strengths and weaknesses.
Personally I’m not a fan of generalizations. That’s why I’m not going to say that people from the Baby Boomer generation can’t be tech savvy, or that people from generation X can’t be optimistic. You can’t just fit people into a box. Generations are shaped by the world around them at the time, so that might lead to many of them feeling the same way about certain things. But that’s not set in stone. And our generation has it’s flaws, but we are not just our flaws. If you’re going to point out the bad, you have to point out the good too.
That’s just my opinion.
You know what I really enjoy? Watching a movie with someone. A really good movie. A really well made movie is an experience. It makes you think. When you watch it with another person, you share an experience.
I suppose “A really good movie” is subjective. Some people consider fast and furious to be a really good movie. Others Saw III. My favorite movies are the ones that make you feel something. For instance I love V for Vendetta.
V is the main character. When he was younger, undesirables were herded up and sent to a detention facility called Lark Hill, where they were researching bio weapons and using them as test subjects. The facility blows up and V emerges from the wreckage, something of a superhuman. During one scene in the movie, the story of a girl named Valerie is told. Valerie was at Lark Hill too, and during her imprisonment she wrote out her life story on tissue paper. Evy, the other main character, finds it and is reading it. At the end of the letter, Valerie says, “It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years, I had roses, and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An Inch, it is small and it is fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.” And that hit me because there are actually people who feel that way. And shouldn’t we all feel that way? Anyways, fantastic movie. In fact I’m going to go watching it after I’m done writing this.
I started this post talking about how to some extent I feel like a genuine failure. And how that sucks.
There’s this song by Casting Crowns that I’ve become really fond of. It says, “Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete, could we just be broken together?” There’s something beautiful about being able to be broken with someone. Being broken and vulnerable and accepted. God finds us in our brokenness. And if no one else does, he accepts us and understands us and loves us.
So I’m broken. And I guess I’m okay with that.